When couples contact me for counseling, they readily report they are stuck - they've lost their way, they've grown apart and they don't know how to get back on track. When asked why they are seeking therapy, couples typically chime in together, "We need help communicating!" I work with couples to tackle all kinds of challenges including intimacy, isolation, workaholism, financial stress, infidelity, anger, blended families and addictions.
Research has shown that couples don't improve their relationship simply by becoming more assertive or employing more active listening skills. My approach with couples is to provide an environment where safety and integrity exist so that empathy and respect for differences are honored, while at the same time room is created for feedback and constructive confrontation. I don't tell couples what to do. Rather I offer a mirror that makes it possible for you to see where and how you might upgrade your systems of operating relationally with each other.